I have a giant crush on my boss. He is easily 6’4″, mostly like a middle aged tree around the middle with broad tipped shoulders and a wide face. Is he conventionally attractive? Maybe not but I like his eyes and his smile and how I feel when I return it, which is often. Whereas I’m a wanton harlot in other facings of my life, this is one boundary I cannot breach and I have ruminates on whether that’s what makes it appealing. But his voice is startlingly deep, his hands broad like cooking pot lids, which can only lead a person to the conclusion that testosterone is not absent.

Bless you dear Internet for granting me the indulgence of this fantastical fallacy, rather than make a right fool of myself professionally in addition to personally.

‘Hey – I don’t know if we are allowed to be fb friends but I just wanted to tell you I had halal food at 8 am lunch and it was glorious.’

And if I wanted to lose my job right then and there, I’d add a ‘made me think of you.’ Harassment suit 101.

Safety in silence. Comfort in quiet.
Bonne nuit.